Atahuallpa

The largest population shift of the modern age has been the "discovery" and subsequent colonization of the New World by Europeans.  Nearly all of the natives of the New World were conquered, assimiliated, or gradually dissappeared under European influence.  Why were the Native Americans at such a disadvantage? Considering that they had colonized the New World over 13,000 years ago, why were they not able to repel the "invading" Europeans or at least welcome them as equals?

A stylized Atahuallpa, a Spanish soldier
is visible at the bottom left.

Jared Diamond presents the meeting between Atahuallpa and Pizarro as one of the defining moments of this seeming inequality.  Atahuallpa was the absolute monarch of the Inca empire, which at the time of his meeting with Pizarro was the largest and most advanced society in all of the New World.  Pizarro represented King Charles I of Spain, which at the time was the most powerful state in Europe.  While this seemed to be an important meeting of two superpowers, Pizarro had with him only a ragtag group of 168 Spanish soldiers while Atahuallpa was leading a trained and experienced army of 80,000 soldiers.  Why then was Pizarro able to capture Atahuallpa and hold him ransom for 8 months?

The reason, as Diamond explains, is mainly technological.  The Incan warriors carried clubs as their primary weapons, and wore quilted armor, which provided good protection against their type of weapons.  The Spanish wore metal armor and carried mainly metal edged weapons.  Their armor was good protection against the clubs, with most strikes leading to injury, not death.  The Spaniard's swords and daggers easily penetrated the Incas quilted armor.  And perhaps of greatest advantage to the Spanish, Pizarro's party had 68 horses.  The Incas had never domesticated a large animal, for farming or for combat.  The horse enabled the Spanish to travel longer distances than they would on foot, to attack quickly by surprise or flee successfully from a stronger force.

Francisco Pizarro González

It was ignorance of this technological disadvantage, and ignorance of the Spaniard's ambition to conquer their New World that led Atahuallpa to walk with only a small guard right up to Pizarro's force.  Then, still not understanding that the Spanish were a conquering force and not a raiding party, Atahuallpa naively offered (and did!)  pay Pizarro history's largest ransom*.  Pizarro's background included stories of Cortés and his conquest of the Aztecs.  European knowledge moved him to set an ambush, while Incan knowledge made Atahuallpa ignorant that such an ambush would take place.


* The ransom was the volume of the room where Atahuallpa was held prisoner in gold, and twice in silver.  It boggles the mind that the Incas were able to deliver this demand within two months of its asking.

Polynesian Development

Diamond puts forward the settlement of the Polynesian Islands as an "experiment" in the ways that geography and ecology can shape human development.

According to most evidence, the first islands of Polynesia were settled around 2000 years ago.  These islands, which included Fiji, Tonga, and Somoa, were where the distinctive Polynesian culture developed.  The people spread north and eastwards, eventually populating the Hawaiian islands 1700 years ago and Easter Island around 1200 years ago.

This is a good experiment in human development because the Polynesian settlers, as they spread out through the islands, all brought with them the same three domesticated animals (the pig, chicken, and dog) and were all - genetically and culturally - very similar.  Although they started out on a level playing field, their individual societies after several centuries would become vastly different.  The Hawaiian islands would support a vibrant society with intensive food production and a complex system of royalty while the settlers of the Chatham islands in the south would actually revert back to hunting-gathering even though their ancestors had a stable way of food production.

Diamond's hypothesis is extremely well supported by the settlement of the Polynesian islands.  They were all settled by the same culture and the same peoples, who spread east and north from the Melanesian islands, and they all ended up creating different cultures and completely different ways of survival.

While reading this, I wondered how much one can apply geography to the behavior of society today.  Can we still assume, as Diamond does, that humans everywhere are the same?

The movements that he studies in Guns, Germs, and Steel take place over hundreds of years.  Perhaps we now move to quickly for these ideas to apply.

Why in a hundred years we may have begun settling Mars.  Hey: I can dream too :P

"Guns, Germs, and Steel" - An Introduction

This book is about history.  And it is also fact, not fiction.  I guess that that makes it a bit of a deviation for me, seeing as I rather prefer to read science fiction.

Without further ado, I'd like to introduce my study of "Guns, Germs and Steel" by Jared Diamond.  Now I am only part of the way through, and I need to break this whole thing up into any number of parts, so I will begin with the questions, not the answers, that Mr. Diamond poses.

History has proceeded very differently for all human cultures since the end of the last ice age 13,000 years ago.  Jared Diamond explains that these disparities exist solely because of differences in the environments of these cultures.

"Guns, Germs and Steel" takes us back to the very dawn of human evolution, from human's divergence from apes to the present day.  His focus though is on the past 13 millenniums since the last ice age, the time in which humans began to form civilization.

Diamond brings his excellent observations on the development of food production, the spread of ideas such as writing and agriculture, the evolution of germs and diseases, and the ability of some societies to support inventors or politicians to bear on this question.

We shall see how the issue fares.

List o' Links - Fall 2009

A bunch of interesting links from my recent trawls (read: trolls) through the web. I couldn't really think up a whole post for each one, so I am dumping them all on you at once. Try not to drown.
Oh and don't worry, none of them open up to malware or porn, although one of them (the nitroglycerin recipe) does kinda dance on the edge of the law.

First up: COLOURlovers, a site where a tons of people share colour palletes and patterns. I found this really useful for blowing the socks off of powerpoint, custom colours ftw. Favorite pallete? Search "Eggplants in luv."

A link with some anarchist tendencies this time: The Top 15 Explosion Videos, my personal favorite is the underground nuke detonation, the Tsar Bomba comes in a close second.

Okay, a LOT more anarchist this time: A recipe from textfiles.com for How to Make Nitroglycerin. If you don't know what nitroglycerin does, you'll find out when someone who does know blows up your car.

Next on the docket: AcedemicEarth.com. On this site, you can watch videos of literally thousands of university lectures, in order, for some of the top classes at some of the top schools. Seriously, if you want to take Advanced Calculus at MIT, you can watch the entire course's lectures, free. You don't get a degree for it, but who cares.

We will finish with art. The Map of Humanity is a painstaking representation of humanity as a map. Every path a mind can take, actual people, cities, and even fictional places have been placed together as parts of landmasses and "countries" based on how they relate to each other. I am pleased to say that my hometown, Vancouver, is located in the center of the continent of Wisdom. Eat it Tokyo (Workaholic Island). You can buy the map as a poster from the artist here.

Hope you enjoyed that, feel free to add any of your own links or thoughts.

Tweeting in our Prime Minister's Ear

That's right folk, I finally succumbed to twitter... Time to see what all the fuss is about.

Nov 6, 11am - I sign up. First tweet 13 minutes later.

Nov 7, noon - Some more tweets...

Nov 7, 1:30pm - I petition the prime minister to lower Canada's voting age to 16. Several minutes later someone signs and retweets my petition.

Nov 7, >2pm - Decide to follow some people, including Rick Mercer and the Green Party. Get my first follower: Hooray.

Nov 7, 3:30pm - Find out that a cat has over 1.3 million followers on twitter, most of them are other cats. Rage ensues.

Nov 7, 12pm - Go to bed hating twitter whores: people who retweet themselves only to get on the "Trending Topics" list. Resolve not to become one.

Nov 8, 11:30am - Tweet about the Chelsea win over Manchester United. The ref sucked.

Nov 8, 12pm - Start a retweeting campaign to spread the word about lowering the voting age.

Nov 8, 12:30pm - No responses to the retweeting campaign, also one of my 2 followers stops following me because I didn't follow them. Another sign that they are a twitter whore.

Nov 8, 12:40pm - In an effort to jumpstart my campaign, I write this post.

MY VERDICT: Twitter is an easy and effective way to protest causes and spread messages. I fail to see any huge entertainment values in it though. I resolve to continue tweeting in an effort to build an effective propaganda base.

MY CAUSE: If you tweet already or are interested, be sure to check my page: @torwch, I'll follow you if you follow me... Just beware an onset of twitter whoredom. You join the movement by signing and retweeting my petitions below. Lets rouse our PM to action!

Any opinions (however inflammatory) can be written below:
-torwch

How to Spot Anti-Realists

An anti-realist, or solipsist, believes that nothing outside of their own mind exists. This is a stupid mindset, and one that you should seek to stop.

*WARNING*

The following techniques can be dangerous, be sure to wear proper safety equipment (such as earplugs) when confronting a solipsist.

How to Recognize a Solipsist:

1. If they EVER tell you that you do not exist.
2. If they ramble on about "perception" and the meaning of "reality" as if they believe it is actually important, or interesting.
3. When someone insults them, they revert to an extreme level of smugness. In most cases, you will actually be able to smell the smugness. Take precautions, as those with allergies or breathing problems may succumb.
4. They may trip strangers for kicks.
5. They offer people red pills and a chance to "wake up".

Actual anti-realist quotes:

• "The glass is however full that I godamn want it to be, all right?"
• "Mmmhmmmm" (the sound they make while looking in a mirror)
• "I had the weirdest dream last night guys; and guess what, you were ALL in it!"

Defensive Strategies:

• If you are ever cornered by a solipsist first try to surprise them. If you do something truly random and unpredictable it will completely shift their world view. Don't be shocked if their ears start to bleed.
• Slap them.
• Point out the obvious flaws in their argument. (note that this is also considered an offense strategy, more of those will be covered in my next post: How to Hunt Anti-Realists)

Please report all confirmed solipsist sightings to the proper authorities or below as a comment. Thanks for helping make the world a safer place.

Great Men

Absence? Naw.

As I learned a week ago, history is divided into 3 views of why it happened. Its almost like a Coke or Pepsi question with actual merit behind each choice. Drumroll please...

1. Luck.
2. Environment shaped who got where in technology, and when. Leading to a major plus in Europe.
3. Great men took charge.

Right. So now I have a question for YOU (three). Which side are you? If you were wondering, I AM going to shove my opinion down your throats for your own enjoyment. (The title is prolly a big clue.)

Bachelorette #3, if you please. Where are we if not for great leaders and thinkers? My evidence is in 2 sets.

a) Mongols v. Plains Indians. First we must come to a consensus that relatively similar societies exist here. Both were shamanists living nomadic lifestyles. Both had horse, bow, fire and not much else. Skip to 1250. One of them is the overlords of a massive empire from China to Hungary. (Assuming level 6 is won). Take a stab at it.

The plains Indians are pretty well the same as they were 3000 years ago if not more. What is the only variable? A great warrior with vision and the drive to unite and conquer. Genghis Khan. QED.

b)700 BC. Two metals: Tin and brass. Found in 2 places I will focus in on: Greece and Mexico. The Greeks had it fully exploited, even basing their entire military strategy around it. The Aztecs were still using obsidian macanas and just starting to discover bronze's properties. What ain't broke wasn't fixed. Of course, they only figuered out it was broke when the Spanish crushed it into paste. So the Greeks great alchemists give them a major advantage in the long run.

The best part of this is the Great Man Theory, as it is called, is the anti-thesis of the Communist thought process, so I can be a history nerd and shove my right wing-nessin your face. Two birds, baby.

Public Transit

... is way underrated. If you are an artist looking for inspiration, a writer looking for a plot, a blogger needing a post (me), or you just want to go people watching; grab A BUS downtown.

Couple things:

Those prepaid tickets you get (usually in bunches of 10)... ya don't fold them. The machine doesn't recognize them and they metamorph into junk.

The personal space levels of people vary dramatically. I had two asian ladies sort some of their change out over my lap as they sat on either side of me. Some people move away from you (or maybe I just look suspicious), even going as far as standing up and walking to the back.

Exact change only sucks.

There is a bus stop every like 2 inches, so pull the yellow cord only when you are SURE your stop is next.

Strike up conversation with everyone, its like anonymous chatting online, but in the real world.

Yes, all that for two dollars and 50 cents ( $3.75 if you move between zones). Why go to an amusement park or a movie when THE BUS is right there?

Soppy Nonsense

In this article, I'm a gonna talk about 2 topics. One of which is highly scientific, and may in fact be all that science becomes: Genetics. The other is the least understood subject in the world. Love. (By the way, the show Scrubs inspired this article.)

Love isn't easy. Actually, it's a bitch. Human beings, as a rule, a fickle little so-and-so's. So much so, that even if there was nothing explicitly wrong with you, your chances of getting some love back is negligible, if existant. (Keep using words like those, and you'll be alone for a while.)

Take my rugged self for example. I'm not fat, I dress pretty well, (not the same goddamn pair of shorts e'rry day.) and I'm not overtly wierd on the outside. But am I single? You bet your ass. (By the way, this is not a plea to any of our readers. As far as I know, you're all guys, and we all know my views on homosexuality.)

Anyway, my gripes on life aside, the genetics thing. Imagine for a second that, for example, your grandfather was a zitty dork. (Again, I have nothing against your grandfather. I'm sure he's a great person.) He doesn't marry your grandmother, because she doesn't tolerate the sight of him, and you're mom/dad gets a whole different half of chromosomes. That means YOU get different DNA. In kind of the same fluke that humans are the dominant species, it's a real fluke that you look the way you do. For some (me) we luck out, but for some, perhaps not. Think about it. Some of the "golden" DNA out there is being squandered because they don't get to pass on the genes 'cuz the get passed on via some dumbass athlete with no real value to society.

Ahem. Thank you for listening to some fool's thoughts on love and science. I'm getting my narcissistic ass out of here. Be careful with those DNA's. You could be screwing some future Cassinova. No pressure though.

Une Grande Quebec

For the last two weeks, me and my family have been driving through Quebec and the french-er parts of Ontario. For those who don't live in the best country in the world, Quebec and Ontario are the two largest provinces in Canada, the equivalent of the "states" in the US of A. Les francophones dans cet region represent the largest group of french speakers outside France. They even have their own version of the french language. The people I met told me it is very different from the original. These are some of the other things I learnt in and around les regions de français:

• In Quebec, it is legal to drive into an intersection and do a u-turn, going out in the opposite direction on the street you came in on.
• Close to 99% of those who spoke french as their first tongue could also speak english, even the kids... Not many of us could claim the reverse.
• Most of them can immediately tell if you are an anglophone (english as a 1st language). You walk up to a shopkeeper, greet them and tell them what you want to buy - all in perfectly pronounced french - and they will smile knowingly and say en anglais: "would you like a bag for that?" You CANNOT fool them, and goodness knows my mom tried.
• For some reason my french teacher thought it wise to teach us the type of french spoken in France, not the french spoken in our own damn country. Logic FAIL? This means a lot of my pronunciations and tenses are wrong. :/ ...
• When they celebrate Canada Day, they CELEBRATE it. I mean 2 hundred thousand people on the streets of Ottawa all dressed in red and white. That night, a concert that went to 11:00 pm and a fireworks show that lasted for what seemed like thirty minutes and had shells punching half-mile-wide light orbs in the air. That pretty much made my trip.
• Just like BC and Manitoba, Quebec is 100% hydroelectric.
• On les Îles de la Madeleine, a chain of beachy islands north of PEI that belong to Quebec, the sand is so fine, it SQUEAKS WHEN YOU WALK ON IT! It sorta sounds like air being let out of a balloon.
• Not all people who live in Quebec are raging separatists, the ones I talked to about it actually joked about DouCette never stepping down as leader of the Bloc de Quebecois. They are down-right friendlier that your average west-coaster.

This was your writer at large, torwch, about to dig into a delicious dinner of clams. Bon soir mes amis!