WTF's Out There?

According to Scientology, there exists a Galactic Confederacy that has lasted for trillions and trillions of years in and out of our universe. When our species achieves a certain level of spiritual "wellness," we will be welcomed into this "galactic" fraternity. Yah, good luck with that Mr Cruise.

Moving on, this theme of an extraterrestrial presence watching our progress like parent may watch a child is pretty common. We tend to imagine all aliens as super advanced and peaceful. Literature, movies it is all the same.

However, far more likely is the idea that there is no Galactic Confederacy. No welcoming committee. No one to tell us what to do when we reach that stage. Now put that all aside for a minute and think.

What if we are the first? If we will win this first race? If we will be the ones peering down from the flying saucers? What if we create the Galactic Confederacy (you would still be wrong Mr Cruise)??? If we are the ones offering our friendship to other LESSER civilizations?

I think (hope) that we could fill this role. While we may be pretty war-like now, I think that as space opens up as a a new frontier, fighting will cease. Why fight over a thin strip of land between your two countries when you can fly TWO THOUSAND LIGHTYEARS away and colonize a planet.

That is our far-likelier future, and the one that I hope will happen.

The Art of Killing Nicely

When was the last time we had a war? A real war. You might think: "2001/2003 retard. Where have you been?"

But that's not a real war. After the U.S. Marines handed over control to the Iraqi forces, (which they did. Hell yeah! Mission Accomplished!) I assume that the next course of action is to pack up and leave Iraq. That's not how real war goes. If it was a real war, Pres. Obama would absorb Iraq as the 51st state. Then we would all love him for bringing peace to Iraq. But I am getting ahead of myself. Sorry Obama. Praise be with you.

Even World War 2, the Korean War and the Vietnam War ended in all parties pretty well ending up where they started. (I.E. France gets all her stuff back from Germany, and Germany loses all of its Czech and Polish territory.)

Think of the Roman style of war. They would march into an enemy's territory, fight a pitched battle on some dude's field, and then proceed to either seige the city into submission, or just have the city handed to them. After one side loses, they don't exist anymore. Think of Medieval warfare. You usually try to capture as many of the other side's knights and nobility as possible, then you ransom them back and impoverish the state that you then march on.

But enough of that nonsense. The point I'm trying to make here is: are we better off with our "civilized" warfare? Is absorbing nations really a good thing? Think of the conquests of Mohammad in 7th century Arabia. Quoting Dan Carlin here, these conquests brought a "flood" of solid DNA to the region. No one argues that this was a bad thing. If Mohammad had taken the area and said "ok. This is mine. As you were." Could you imagine the genetics of the region today? But on the flip side, the Conquistadors of the 15th century screwed up the Mayan and Aztec cultures pretty good when they took over. So which side do you pick? Have at it in the comments section, gents. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a beautiful beach just down the street calling to me. I love summer. Adios, muchachos.

Hail to the Chimp (Lol Monkeys)

Ok. Get out your angry stationary. My top prez would not be Obama. (If you need an explaination why just say so.)

Now, before I get ahead of my racist self, I should say who I think is better. Ronald Reagan was perhaps, the best leader of the 20th century. Lowering taxes, and essentially starting the break-up of the horrific Soviet Union, he laid the foundations for today. He also was a semi-champion of gay rights (Don't think so? See for yourself) If he hadn't resisted the U.S.S.R., where would we be now? Democrats would probably have turned us into a communist hell-hole, and everyone would be dirt poor. Awesome. That alone wins my vote.

Besides, who else do we have? Most leaders of the past 800 years have been rich aristocrats who were born into power, not elected. That basically leaves the heads of the US, and Canada, I s'pose, but Canada has to many Trudeau-esque crap on the table. So, who do you think is the best? Leave your vote in the comments box. Although, we only have like 6 of you, so this will probably not work too well, but hey.

Pce ftw!

Of course, usually the people protesting war are whining to the wrong people. Take 9/11 for example. Everyone wants peace in Iraq. But don't tell us. Tell the terrorists who insist on blowing stuff up. America doesn't start wars. But they sure as hell finish them. It is wrong to assume that by asserting their status as a non-punching bag (i.e. France) that makes them war mongerers. And no, this wasn't about oil. Just stop that train of thought right there.